5,000 Miles Apart
When we first started dating, we lived 5,000 miles apart - in different cities, different time zones, and with our individual routines.
What kept us connected wasn't grand gestures. It was small, consistent moments of attention.
- Listening when the phone signal was weak.
- Checking in, even when things felt fine.
- Staying curious about each other's worlds.
We built something real across distance - and not through big declarations, but because we didn't let space become silence.
The Realisation Years Later
Years later, I realised this is what leadership is.
Because effective leadership isn't always about being in the room; it's about being present when you are.
It isn't about control and command. Instead, it's about trust, freedom and respect.
And it isn't about proving your importance. Actually, it's simply about being on the team - especially when it's inconvenient.
The lesson is that relationships (romantic, professional, or otherwise) aren't maintained by proximity. They're sustained by intention.
Why This Matters For Leaders
Many ambitious emerging leaders feel the pressure to be everywhere. To prove their importance by filling calendars, joining every meeting, and making their presence felt.
But presence isn't measured in hours logged; it's measured in attention given.
The leaders people remember aren't the ones who were in every room. They're the ones who checked in at the right time, asked the thoughtful questions, or noticed when something was off - and then cared enough to name it.
The Quiet Parallels
The long-distance relationship taught me three things that still shape how I lead today:
- Consistency beats intensity. Big gestures fade quickly. Small, regular signals of care build trust.
- Curiosity bridges gaps. Asking, listening, and learning about someone else's world matters more than assuming you know.
- Presence doesn't require proximity. You don't have to be physically in the room to make someone feel seen.
These lessons aren't about romance; they're about connection and leadership. And at its heart, leadership is a practice of connection.
My Gentle Invitation
If you've ever felt the pressure to lead by being everywhere - to prove your value through proximity or performance - maybe this story gives you another lens.
Because leadership, like love, isn't built through constant visibility. It's sustained by consistent intention.
At Foresight, our coaching programs help leaders recognise the patterns (the instinct to overprove, the pull towards busyness, and the belief that presence requires proximity) and shift them.
Not with grand gestures. But with grounded, sustainable practices of connection.
Whether in love or leadership, the truth is the same: it's not about being everywhere, it's about being present where it matters.
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