Not The Session I Expected
The hardest facilitation I've ever done wasn't the largest group.
It wasn't the most complex dynamics.
It wasn't even the tightest timeline.
It was the silence.
A team that had weathered a hard quarter sat in front of me.
There were smiles.
Head nods.
Surface-level updates.
But underneath?
Mistruth. Fatigue. Unspoken tension.
I could feel it in my bones.
The Weight Of What's Unsaid
What made this facilitation hard wasn't disengagement.
It was the presence of everything unspoken.
The question that circled in my mind was simple but confronting:
"How do I hold space for honesty without forcing it?"
I knew pushing harder would only push them further away.
So instead, I slowed everything down.
Making Room For Silence
I created space.
Not for more updates.
Not for another activity.
But for silence.
It was uncomfortable at first.
But eventually, someone spoke.
Not about goals.
Not about roles.
But about disappointment. About feeling let down, and wanting to move forward, but not knowing how.
And when they did, the room exhaled.
Why That Moment Mattered
That breakthrough didn't come from a clever prompt.
It didn't come from a polished facilitation technique.
It came from trust that was slowly built and gently held.
The silence had been carrying the truth.
All it needed was space to emerge.
That day reminded me of something essential:
Facilitation isn't about filling the room with words.
It's about creating the conditions where honesty can surface, even when it's messy, and even when it's hard.
My Quiet Invitation
The same is true for leadership.
Sometimes the hardest part isn't the pressure, the pace, or the projects.
It's the silence.
Things no one says, but everyone feels.
And your role isn't to force the conversation.
It's to create the conditions where it can safely begin.
Because real progress doesn't come from performance.
It comes from presence.
Want to receive our latest blog posts directly to your mailbox?
