The Session That Looked Perfect
I once led a team session that, on the surface, appeared to go flawlessly.
Structured check-ins.
Curated exercises.
Timing that landed to the second.
I walked away proud of how polished it had been.
But smooth isn't the same as meaningful.
The Feedback I Didn't Expect
At the end, one participant lingered behind.
They looked me in the eye and said:
"That was polished, but I needed you to be present, not perfect".
Oof!
It was one of the most generous (and uncomfortable) pieces of feedback I've ever received.
And they were right.
I had prioritised delivery over depth.
A great session over meeting a great team.
Presence Over Perfection
That moment shifted me.
Since then, I've changed how I show up:
- Less choreography, more curiosity.
- Less focus on controlling outcomes, more focus on what's emerging.
- Permission to let things get a little messy, because that's often where the real insight lies.
It turns out, teams don't need a flawless performance.
They need a facilitator who's with them, not just leading them.
What This Means For Leadership
The same is true for leadership beyond facilitation.
When you prioritise looking polished over being present, you miss what matters.
Your team doesn't need a perfect leader.
They need a human one.
The leader who listens instead of rushing to respond.
The manager who admits when something feels tough.
The colleague who notices tension instead of smoothing it over.
Because influence isn't built through performance.
It's built through presence.
My Quiet Invitation
Those clients' words still echo in my mind.
Not as criticism, but as a compass.
Perfection isolates.
Presence connects.
And in the messy, unpolished moments? That's often where trust is built, insight is gained, and real development begins.
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