She Was The Go-To, Until It Became Too Much
The Signs We Often Ignore
The calendar that never cleared.
The inbox that refilled the moment it was emptied.
The creeping sense that praise had morphed into pressure.
"Can you just take a look at this?"
became
"We knew you'd have the answer".
At first, it felt flattering.
Then... it felt exhausting.
Because being the go-to person doesn't scale.
And it certainly doesn't sustain.
The Trap Of Being Indispensable
Many emerging leaders fall into this quietly.
They've been rewarded for competence.
Praised for taking ownership.
Recognised for saving the day.
But here's the hidden trap:
If you're always the one fixing, solving, and rescuing, then you're not leading, you're absorbing.
You become the buffer.
The bottleneck.
The unsung engine behind every outcome.
And eventually?
You burn out.
Leadership Isn't About Heroics
The cultural myth of leadership is full of heroism.
We picture the bold, decisive, all-knowing leader.
The one with the answers. The presence. The edge.
But real leadership isn't about being the hero.
It's about building systems that don't need one.
It's about:
- Developing capability across your team
- Designing clarity into your rhythms
- Delegating without guilt
- Creating space for others to step in, and step up
The irony?
When you stop trying to do it all, you start leading more.
When Competence Becomes A Cage
We see this often in our public training rooms:
High-performing leaders - especially those early in their journey - who feel stuck in their own reliability.
They know how to deliver.
They're used to being trusted.
They've built a brand on being dependable.
But they're also tired.
Depleted.
On the edge of resentment.
Because competence, when left unchecked, can become a cage.
One that traps your time.
Erodes your boundaries.
And slowly distances you from your actual leadership potential.
So What Does The Shift Look Like?
It rarely happens all at once.
But it often starts with a quiet question:
"What would happen if I didn't step in right now?"
And from there:
- You notice where you're over-functioning
- You start naming what's yours, and what's not
- You let discomfort be a teacher, not a trigger
- You trade control for trust, slowly, deliberately, and imperfectly
It's not a loss of impact.
It's a redistribution of ownership.
And it's where real growth begins, not just for you, but for everyone around you.
Praise Isn't Always Permission
Here's the nuance:
The world will continue to praise your capacity.
Your speed. Your presence. Your reliability.
But that praise is not a signal to do more.
It's an invitation to do differently.
To shift from carrying to catalysing.
From solving to shaping.
From being the glue to building something that holds without you.
That's leadership.
Not the person who fixes everything, but the one who creates a culture where others don't need to be fixed.
My Quiet Invitation
If this landed close to home, if you've been the go-to, the rock, the reliable one...
Maybe this is your moment.
Not to stop being capable.
But to stop being solely responsible.
Because the most powerful leaders aren't the ones who do it all.
They're the ones who know when to step back, hold space, and let others rise.
That doesn't make you less of a leader.
It makes you a sustainable one.
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